i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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