i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
