I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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