You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
