She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I currently don't understand fingers.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
