And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
