just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
