Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
