Operation Purity has been aborted
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So apparently I’m into choking now
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