whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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