none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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