Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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