You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
