My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
