my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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