she looked like the before picture.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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