I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
