i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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