u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
