The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We are two peas in an std pod
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
