addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
