do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
