You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
