i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
