last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
