you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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