i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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