so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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