you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
