I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
