She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just want to make out with him forever
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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