herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
