Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
