Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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