I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
