That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
