You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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