i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
