i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
