he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
