i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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