WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
