dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
