UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
