I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
