One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
