he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
