fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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