I want to have your abortion
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
