A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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