Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
